Great blog I just came across. Good reading!!!
http://traciesterntheblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/love-doesnt-have-a-size/
We don’t all love a tall, skinny man. We don’t all love Hulk Hogan. So why as women do we think that all men love Barbie?
In our society there are many, many sites offering advice on how to dress. Advice on how to style your hair, do your makeup and follow the new, hot trends in todays fashion magazines.
So now that you have it, what do you do with it. For many women, their biggest concern isn’t what to wear, but how to find something that fits. Not only fits, but flatters. Why do we have this obsession with what we look like? Do we create it ourselves or is it created in society and we adopt it under sheer pressure or influence?
Well let’s break this down. If you have children do they put a limit on how much they love you depending on what size pants you are wearing today? Men aren’t as concerned with size as women are but they are concerned with ambition and attitude. When you meet someone new, do you ask them what size they are before you decide whether to friend them or not? You think that sounds ridiculous but in reality, that is exactly how many of us think people see us. They make their decisions solely based on what we look like. While part of that is true a first impression is made within the first 3 seconds of someone being in your presence.
The vast majority of those who matter in our lives do not base their decisions of love on what our dress size is. They base their decision on loving us based on the person we are. The legacy if you will that we are choosing to leave behind. My kids for example love me because I hug them. I play with them. I cook for them, and I make them a priority in my life. They also love me because I include them in my life, the one I have outside of them.
Notice I said ‘MY LIFE’ in that last sentence. It’s always been important to me that I maintain my own identity. I have had the privilege of living a life that has mandated that has allowed that to happen. For some women, it is much harder to maintain their own identity. It’s very easy to lose ourselves in our partners or our children. But what about you? When you met your husband or partner how would you have described yourself? Are you still that person? Do you still possess the same qualities they fell in love with or have you become an altered version of that person almost unrecognizable? This has nothing to do with weight or size, this has everything to do with attitude and ambition. This theory goes for friendships too. Were you once a really positive person who has now become jaded and negative? Sunshine brings more people out then rain.
Over the years it has been my job to convince consumers that no matter what I wear, I love it and I look absolutely fantastic in it. Whether I believe it or not. Being a model is being an actress with no lines. Our emotion is shared through our eyes, face and body language. When you look at a picture it’s what that picture is saying to you that will draw you in or make you look away. My friends joke with me that I would look good in a potato sack. And with no ego involved I would, only because it is what I’ve been trained to do. It’s what I’ve been doing for 17 years, and trust me when I say, in the beginning, what I modeled wasn’t too far from that potato sack theory.
Today, my life has become more focused on my shape rather then my size. My husband doesn’t care if I’m a 12 today and a 14 tomorrow. Nor did he care when I was a 16/18 after our 1st son was born. My husband is man enough to love me no matter what size I am because he loves my shape.
I want to help women to understand that their curves are a blessing regardless of how society portrays them. I have the average hourglass figure. Which my husband loves. He loves my waist, the curve of my ‘apple butt’ and yes here is a shocker, my boobs. Which I have more of now that I am a mother of 2. A gift from my boys as I say.
As an Hourglass, I am not too limited on what I wear because the shape of my body is proportioned. My shoulders are in line with my hips. An hourglass shape is one of 2 shapes that has an easier time of finding clothes. However, we still need to make sure that our assets are accentuated and our ‘flaws’ are camouflaged.
No matter what shape you are, we as women will always have body issues. Whether we are a size 2 or 20. Cellulite has no friends and saddle bags are still saddle bags no matter what body you find them on.
The other shape that can dress with less effort is a Rectangle. This is the body shape of most fashion models. Because of their lack of curves, they can wear just about anything, their biggest issue would be the need to create a waistline. This is an easy problem to address.
Where fashion starts to get tricky is with our beloved Pears and Apples. With Pears their weight is mostly distributed in their hips and thighs and therefore this limits what they can wear on the bottom. Their tops are usually much smaller in proportion with narrow shoulders, small bust and a very defined waistline. The key to dressing a pear is to find tops that add a bit of bulk up top and to wear pants and skirts that flatter a wider bottom. Stay away from tapered legs as this will only accentuate your hips by creating an upside down triangle. Darker bottoms and straight legs (fit to the widest part of your thigh) will also help to make this area appear smaller. By adding a shoulder pad (not 1980′s) to your jackets and shirts, this will widen your shoulders to help them be more in line with your hips.
With an Apple your weight is mostly distributed around your chest and middle with thin arms and legs. Many of you think that your chest and your legs are your best assets. The key to an apple is adding bulk to the bottom and minimizing the focus on the top half while allowing your boobs a little exposure (after all if you’ve got it flaunt it). By wearing skinny jeans or leggings on the bottom and a large top you are actually making your top appear bigger. You will also want to add a belt or wear jackets that create a waistline to bring you closer to that hourglass shape.
Life is not about a size, it’s about balance. Finding balance in your shape will revolutionize how you see yourself. As women we need to stop comparing ourselves to each other because the only ones who can compare themselves are 2 women who are the same shape and the same size, height/weight etc. Otherwise to compare a hourglass to a pear is like comparing apples to oranges…. 
It’s unfair and unrealistic.
I hope you all have an “Ah Hah” moment and start to enjoy being a woman again after reading this!
MOM of 7 