Divorce Really Does Make Marriage Better! (what do you think?) 10/18/2011

The divorce rate for second marriages may be higher than that of first marriages, but don’t tell that to people on their second marriages. Many feel their second marriages are actually much, much stronger than their first. And while the statistics don’t support this notion, reason really should.

After all, don’t we learn from our mistakes?

Divorce is one of life’s most traumatic events. Anyone who has been through it likely puts a much higher premium on only going through it once. The fact is, many people marry for the wrong reasons. They marry out of fear of being alone or because everyone else is doing it. And when you marry young (under 26), you also do it not knowing how the person will change.

Every day we are married, we learn more about marriage. After nearly nine years of marriage, I can officially say I have a pretty good understanding of what it takes to make a marriage last. And it’s not undying love and passion (though those are important, too).

What really matters in marriage is a strong foundation, AKA the “boring things.” Is he responsible with money? Loving? Do you feel a close friendship? Does he make you laugh? Can he keep a job? Is he volatile or does he have any addictions? These are the kinds of things women should ask themselves when getting married.

From the outside, it’s often easy to predict which marriages will last and which will fail. But that doesn’t mean those predictions come true. Some of it is luck — my husband and I married at 25 and have grown and changed enormously since then — but some of it is also foresight. I was engaged before my husband and my inner voice knew it was wrong.

MORE:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/127177/divorce_really_does_makes_marriage

Always a MOM of 7. NEVER a MOM of 8! :( 03/04/2011

I know it sounds crazy.  Totally crazy.  Being a MOM of 8 sounds certifiable CRAZY!  Right?

When I was growing up I thought I would only have one child as an adult.  So I laugh often when I think….God, why did you give me 7?

In my first marriage, I had twins at the age of 28.  About 2.5 years later, I had our third child.  We were done; HIS shop was permanently closed.  Well, fast forward a number of years, and a divorce and now a remarriage and I’ll be honest with you, I struggle GREATLY with the thought that Stephen and I will NEVER have our own children.

Stephen’s shop…closed, yet perhaps reversible.  My shop?  Different story.  A few years ago, just PRIOR (ironic) to meeting Stephen, I had to have a pretty drastic surgery (we essentially had to fry my uterus) that complete prevents me from having any more children.

The desire to have another child is HUGE!  I love being pregnant.  I love the baby stage.  I love, love, love 6 months to about 2 years.  I love the smiles, the laughs, the little innocent personality that develops in front of my own eyes.

I look at friends baby pictures on Facebook and I just LONG for a baby.   I see videos like this one and my heart aches to experience this stage once again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc&feature=player_embedded

Stephen says we need to look forward to our kids having kids.  Um, I say…no thanks.  Not ready for that!  🙂  I want MY OWN!  LOL.

So, my reality is this….7 is enough.  I LOVE our 7.  I also know the Lord had a different plan and Stephen and I were never meant to have our own children. Our “plates” are full with 7 and the challenges are huge and days are long. But I’ll be honest with you, I think I will always be a little sad that after finding amazing love and a real partner in life with Stephen, that the two of us will never know what it’s like to have a child of our own.

Cuz shoot…..if we had a child of our own, that would be ONE REALLY TALL child!